I deserve someone who gives a shit…

With love all things are possible. With matters of the heart, never rule out infinite possibilities.

Finding a soulmate is possible. Falling in love at first sight is possible. It is possible to live happily ever after.

It is also possible for a relationship to end that never began. It is possible to make a risky emotional investment, and the resulting dividend is nothing more than, “I’m not interested in being in a committed relationship with you.” Like being struck by a bullet that doesn’t immediately kill you, it is possible to survive…at least for a little while. It is possible to lose and be lost by someone without ever being claimed.

I recently found myself in an excruciating text message (actually it was Snap Chat – I’m so modern) break-up with someone for whom I was never even significant enough to be considered a significant other. After several months of dating, there was no evidence that we would ever be or had ever been together. No photos, no “I love you’s,” no relationship. I believed love was possible for me. However, he did not…at least not from him. In the end, I found the courage to ask the question I had not been able to ask for months for fear of the answer, “Do you want me?” and the answer had not changed…it was still a deafening “no.”

The movie “He’s just not that into you” came out ten years ago, and it still rings true. I took some time to re-watch it and remind myself that sometimes they just don’t give a shit, but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t.

And a few more reminders for us all…

• “Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.”

• “He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.”

• “There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend.”

• “I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.”

• “Men don't forget how much they like you.”

• “Don't give him a chance to reject you again.”

• “But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really into you: You’ll never see yourself staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You’ll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you’re calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You’ll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn’t have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You’ll be too busy being adored.”

• “If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.”

• "A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it's because he's showing up at your new residence in person... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you."

• "If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. So, don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay."

• "So, trust me when I say if a guy is acting like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit."

• "When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies, no broken promises."

• "You text him, he doesn't text back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted."

• "If he misses you, he'll call. If he wants you, he'll say it. And if he cares, he'll show it. If not, he can't be worth your time because you're obviously not worth his."

• "If a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen no matter what."

• "I deserve somebody who gives a shit."

• "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones that don't, the ones who will stay and the ones that will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy... maybe it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is...just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this... knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through all the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up."

• "I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to."

• "I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much, but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You think you've won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way, but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit, but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are."

• "Don't call him; he doesn't like you."

• "So, what, now I’m supposed to run from every guy who doesn't like me? There's not gonna be anybody left."

• “Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”

• “Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.”

• “Men for the most part like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you.”

• “An excuse is a polite rejection.”

• “Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.”

• “I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.”

• “No answer is your answer.”

• “Classy is walking away with your head held high graciously with your dignity. Being a doormat is offering to drive him to the dentist for a root canal.”

• “Beware of the word friend it is often used by men or women who that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I pick my friends I like to pick the ones that don't make me cry myself to sleep at night.”

• “If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.”

• “The word busy is a load of crap and often used by assholes.”

• “Don't let the ‘honeys’ and ‘babys’ fool you; his sweet nothings are just that.”