Men are (white) trash, and they keep proving it
I have started dipping my toe into the online dating scene, and it is BLEAK out there, to say the least.
Here are a few recent samples of bios from online dating sites that have made me think twice about meeting new people.
"Liberal, leftist, vaxxed, mask wearing dip-shits need not apply. Btw…you idiots ready for your booster shot(s)? And you still have to wear the mask? Common sense is a virtue these days. You are all getting sick because of the jabs. You blindly took. It's not us healthy un-vaxxed folk making you sick. The TV says we are but to into a hospital…any hospital. I dare you. The only sick un-vaxxed in there are the children with RSV, because you masked them. Oh you're a nurse? Nuremberg" ~T, (no age)
So, clearly, T has decided that a woman like me is an "idiot" and a "dipshit", but he has a Fox News MD, and hates nurses. I bet his Christmas lights are still up from 2017, and he’s likely to ask for a manager when CVS won’t accept his return of athlete’s foot cream. Good luck out there Doctor T.
"I am me, been on here for a minute, 5'8" not 6', black or looking for weird shit, healthy and strong, have a heart. If you are looking for your ex, or to be where you where (sic), not your guy. If you fucked up and are in the same place and still do not have it figured out, swipe left, If he fucked up and you got his money, do not want it, or to be in your zone of guy friends you have in capseled (sic). Have your shit together, and we can talk. Pictures are me, no bs, do not have photoshopped shit" ~ Cody, 54
Cody has likely been catfished. This is crazy because short, angry, and racist men are generally in high demand among sexy, single, divorcees in his area. Keep your sweet, sweet divorce money to yourselves, ladies – he is healthy, strong, and has a heart…he doesn't need you, your ex-husband's pension, or your "photoshopped shit." You also need to have your shit together, and maintain no male friendships otherwise all 5 foot 8 inches of this awesomeness is going to pass you by. No doubt Cody has a stash of Hustler magazines hidden in the bathroom, and a phone full of misspelled inspirational memes.
"My home # 3212254253 I am looking for a lady with body fat% lower then (sic) 25 percent. Sucks I have to say it but 95 percent are overweight. I would say more about passions, likes, dreams, but That's all I need to say because that will narrow it down to a handful and we can just meet and see. Why waste time. Should you be angered by this statement ladies would you be enterrested (sic) in a guy who drinks and plays video games all day and only works as much as he needs to scrape by? It's the same thing." ~ Ian, 46
Ian is better at math than spelling (grammatical consistency is lacking here) and places physical beauty above all else. What if she was an alcoholic with 14% body fat, has a video game addiction, and only works part-time? How does that fit in with your dreams and passions, Ian? The good news is, she would be able to spend all day at the gym working off all the Bud Light. Maybe I should give him a call at home and ask about an effective weight loss plan. I would bet Ian has a tractor tire in his backyard with 3 foot weeds around it, and a janky pull up bar in his laundry room because he doesn’t want to pay for CrossFit classes.
"Just here to keep me busy when I should be working. I am an outdoors kind of guy that lives at the lake during the summer. Never been married, no kids. Want to know more? Just ask…P.S. If I know you, definitely swiping right! If you do not believe in America and that we are the greatest nation on the planet, please swipe left. In an open relationship with myself, but it's okay cause I'm good with it. If you voted for sniffy joe (sic), odds are you are too stupid to read this anyhow." ~ Norm (no age)
Norm thinks that only stupid people voted for Joe Biden…even though they can't read. Over 82 million illiterate voters are still running around the (greatest) nation just taunting Norm? I bet Norm has a pair of American flag underwear, an obscene amount of camouflage clothing, and an AR-15 on layaway at Walmart. But he likely wears cheap hiking boots, has a Velcro wallet, and makes his buddies drive him to elk camp because his 2004 Dodge Ram is perpetually in the shop. Norm likely spends the workday hiding in the bathroom reading QAnon conspiracy theories. Thank the universe Norm did not procreate.
"UNVACCINATED (looking for the same & similar values). 5'11"I value love, spirituality, truth, freedom, peace, health, nature. Looking for a lasting, great connection. I'd love to enjoy life with someone special. No kids. Pescatarian. RV living. Interested in living off the grid? I'd love to meet someone that doesn't agree with masks/lockdowns/vaccines. There's more to me, but if I should like someone you can connect with, let's connect (and live life as it should be lived) 😊" ~Jeremiah, 45
Jeremiah wants to live off the grid in an RV with a woman who is unvaccinated and has similar values (which are?). He is into spirituality, love, health and eating fish, so that should make up for his apparent lack of gainful employment and dependable healthcare. This sounds more like premeditated kidnapping than a relationship. You won't need a mask or a vaccine if you get tangled up with Jeremiah, but you will likely need some outdoor survival skills and self-defense training. Let’s not connect with Jeremiah.
This is just a snapshot of the online dating bios I have encountered recently. Poor grammar and spelling aside, I find it astonishing how insulting these men can be right out of the gate. From the anti-maskers, anti-vaxxers, racists, angry friend zone guys, and Shallow Hals, I thought it couldn't get worse…I was wrong.
Recently a potential suitor was bold enough to offer his first and last name through a dating app. And me being a curious woman, I did a quick search of the Idaho legal repository. Not only was the man still married, but he currently has TWO no contact orders in place against him for domestic violence and injury to children.
It does not take long to determine that any one of these fellas is likely to be emotionally, verbally, and even physically abusive. Well-adjusted people are not usually this angry, judgmental, scary, or mean-spirited.
Gone are the days of letting your friends know when you have a date, where you will be, and when you will be home. Now it seems we need to have our last will and testament up to date, a power of attorney in place, and a therapist on speed dial before we meet anyone.
The only commonality I have to these men is how consistently I veer left when I encounter them…much like a Sunday NASCAR race.